“Your dreams are within reach” “Yeah, right”

“Your dreams are within reach.” So promises a sign outside a church I pass every morning on my way to work. Some days I like to think this wish is true. This morning I rather hope that my dreams remain out of reach.

The earliest part of my dreams last night that I remember featured Elvis Presley berating me for the condition of my body. But afterward I was outside my house, trying to set up the grounds for croquet. (When I dream about “my house,” it generally resembles my childhood home, even though that building is no longer standing.) I found that I was unable to place the wickets as I wanted. From that I concluded that the house must have shifted, making the yard smaller. I then tried to hammer one of the stakes into the hard ground. My effort broke open a hole that led to the basement of the house. My father was in that basement, trying to fix the sump pump and not succeeding. The dream concluded with me driving to the grocery store, only to have the car stall at the entrance to the parking lot. By pressing the accelerator while turning the key, I was able to get the car to move forward. With considerable effort, I twisted the steering wheel and coasted into a parking spot. I went into the store and asked to use the phone to tell my family the car was broken. When I dialed, I got the voice mail message, which had been changed by a relative who does not live in our house and had no business messing with our message.

Why would I dream about so many things going wrong in my life? I was jittery yesterday over a number of small reasons. My daughter, who hurt her foot last month in a freak accident, was to have surgery yesterday morning. Her driver took her to the office early in the morning and they waited for a while, only to realize that the surgery is scheduled for Wednesday the 23rd, not Wednesday the 16th. My daughter called home to tell me about the mistake. While we were talking, I heard another voice in or around the house. At first I assumed that two neighbors were having a conversation near the house. When I returned to breakfast, it struck me that the sounds did not resemble a conversation between two people. (You can tell that I was not trying to spy on my neighbors.) For a while I considered that it might be one neighbor talking on a cell phone, but that still didn’t seem to match the sounds I was hearing. When I went into the living room, I found a cell phone on the table that was taking, repeatedly saying “hello” in several different languages. Last weekend my daughters recharged several old cell phones, prior to turning them in for a refund. They did not realize that alarms were still set on these phones. So I’ve been turning off music every morning this week. Hearing unfamiliar voices in the morning, though, left me with a very unsettled feeling.

Feeling unsettled made me overreact when I went on Facebook that morning. I don’t often visit Facebook any more, but sometimes I like to see what family members are saying. One of the first things I saw was a post by my sister which told how to cope with toxic family members. Because I was feeling jittery, my first reaction was to think she was putting me in that category. I know that is not the case; she tends to share things she thinks will help somebody somewhere, whether or not they are relevant to her own life and circumstances. In fact, when I went back later to read the entire article, I could see that it had nothing to do with me. But that’s the frame of mind I was in yesterday, ready to believe the worst about myself from even the slightest and vaguest suggestion.

One reason I am feeling so unstable is uncertainty about my career. I have two or three possibilities before me. One is that things remain as they are. Another is that I might be offered a full-time job in another state. The position has been open for nearly a year, and the committee in charge of hiring has had my name suggested to them, among others. I have yet to hear from them to arrange an interview, but I have good reason to believe that they have not quite reached the step of interviewing anyone yet. If I were offered the job, I would almost certainly take it. Some days I feel certain that it will happen, and I just have to trust God for the timing. Other times I feel as if it will certainly not happen. This winter when I saw cars with license plates from that state, I treated them as a secret message that the job will be offered. But on other days I rolled my eyes and said, “Yeah, right,” when I saw those license plates.

On one of the second kind of days I got a phone call with a new offer. This would be part-time instead of full-time. I would have to keep my current full-time job to have health insurance, but the net pay would increase, even though I would have to drop one current part-time job. The drive to this new position would be about an hour each way, but I wouldn’t have to do it more than twice a week, most weeks of the year. This offer is on the table, mine if I want it. But I don’t know whether to accept, particularly while the full-time possibility remains hanging in unknown territory.

For those of you who are so inclined, I would appreciate your prayers. I could use some wisdom, but also a lot of comfort and inner strength. Also, please pray for both these positions, that they would acquire the servants who are best for them. And while you’re at it, please don’t forget my daughter. She would really like this foot problem to heal, and to do so correctly. J.

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17 thoughts on ““Your dreams are within reach” “Yeah, right”

  1. I don’t pray but I will keep you and your daughter in my thoughts and light a candle for you (which is something I do regularly instead of just once a month online ;)).

    I myself have had lots of worries lately about starting my own coaching business, especially after someone mentioned it is “nearly impossible to do”, since so many people have done it already and are doing it now. Meaning too much competition. Then this morning I picked a new “wisdom paper” and it said: “If anxiety becomes your new best friend, all of your other mates will disappear”.

    Have faith and believe that the Universe, or God, will do what it will do. Everything will be alright in the end, because that’s the only way things ever end. Keep breathing and stay positive. You’re allowed to have an off day every now and then, but no matter how hard it rains, the sun will always come back out eventually 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “Your dreams are within your reach.”

    Well THERE’S a theology of glory if ever I’ve heard one!

    YOU are within THE LORD’S reach. That is certain. He has given you the tools – and the freedom! – you need to make a wise, God-pleasing choice in this matter. Even if you choose with less than full certainty, the Lord has you in His Hands.

    I add my prayers to your own for wisdom and clarity and peace as you consider where it is the Lord is calling you to next.

    Peace be with you!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Don’t often remember my dreams, but I do get unsettled occasionally. I don’t have much to worry about. Just feel vulnerable, perhaps because like everyone else I am. Then I can’t sleep. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? 🤨 I have no idea, but being awake I can give up trying to sleep and crack open the Bible. That seems to help. Yet our Lord can speak to us in dreams too.

    Anyway, you have my prayers too. I pray our Lord will give you peace by reminding of what you already know.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I always have weird dreams when something is troubling me or i have unfinished business to settle. I usually wake up feeling worse about the situation. It sounds like you have a lot of big things on your plate right now. I will pray that God gives you peace.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. May you have the peace of God through Christ to guard your heart and mind through the jitters. I’m in a transition time, too, and need constant reminding that God will show me where to go when I need to know it. Not before (although I keep asking…) 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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